Proshippers are misunderstood

A carrd informing users about proshippers and shipping discourse.Content Warnings: The following carrd contains mentions of abuse, incest, pedophilia, zoophilia, bigotry, harassment, grooming, and facism. Read at your own discretion.Disclaimer: I am neither proship nor antiship. While many of my ideals of fandom align with proshippers, I refuse to call myself one due to callout posts and harassment made against me. I am just here to inform others about proshippers as to destigmatize them.

What is a proshipper?
Proship/Antiship terms
Misconceptions on proshippers
Fiction as a coping mechanism
Anti arguments debunked
Serious Issues in fandom/internet
Sources

What is a proshipper?

A proshipper is someone who is for or supports ships, regardless of the content of the ship. It can also mean someone who is anti-harassment, anti-censorship, anti anti, or all three mentioned here. Note: You can not like a certain ship and still refer to yourself as a proshipper. Not every proshipper is the same as each other.

What is an antishipper?

An antishipper is someone who is against certain ships or ships in general, often due to the content or kinds of people who ship them. This term is shortened to anti, but that can apply to fandom in general. For the most part, antis can be pro-censorship, pro-harassment, or anti problematic content. They often object to problematic content because they believe that it can warp a person's mind and they could see that content as normal. Of course, not all antis are like this, but this should be pointed out.

This is just a reminder that you are not obligated to call yourself proship or antiship. You don't even have to involve yourself in shipping discourse at all and just ship what you want. However, I do recommend taking a stance on shipping discourse that won't fall into the middle ground fallacy (i.e. both proshippers are antishippers are bad due to experiences from the extreme sides of fandom). The thing is, both sides have their bad apples, it just so happens to be that these bad apples are loud. Everyone has different experiences in these communities. if you don't like proshippers/antishippers, that's fine, just leave them alone.

Proship Terms

Proshipping - A term used by both proshippers and antishippers to describe proshippers who ship things (This should be formatted as pro-shipping and proshipping implies that proship is a verb [it is not])
Comshipper - Someone who ships complicated ships and/or ships considered to be problematic (i.e. minor x adult, incest, abuse, beastiality)
Darkshipper - someone who ships problematic ships (When antis use the term proship/proshipper/proshipping they are actually using this term as a definition)
Selfshipper - Someone who ships themselves, a sona, or their self-insert with a fictional character or OC.
Doveshipper - Someone (often a proshipper) who does not ship or post NSFW content or any problematic ship
Anti-anti: Someone who is against antis as a whole
Dead Dove, Do Not Eat - A warning label indicating that a fanfiction has graphic content (Note: Dead Dove, Do Not Eat is not the warning itself, but a warning for the tags)
Lolisho - NSFW content depicting lolis and/or shotas (young or young looking anime/manga characters with petite bodies); a portmanteau of lolicon and shotacon; kodocon is used as well
Squick - A trope or depiction in fiction that makes someone uncomfortable
Noncon/Dubcon - A depiction of a non-consensual activity in fanfiction (Dubcon refers to depictions of dubious or ambiguous consent)

Antiship Terms

Fanpol - Short form of fandom police (people who harass, call out, or police others for what they do in fandom)
Purity culture - Refers to a subset of fandom who believes that NSFW fanworks/depictions negatively affect young fans (Minors in purity culture are sometimes referred to as puriteens)
Romanticize - to make something ideal or better than it is
Normalize - to enable something to be considered normal
Fetishize - to make something into a fetish
Degenerate - a term used by people on the internet to denote someone who they believe is immoral or disgusting (this term was used by Nazi Germany to denote Jewish people, LGBTQ+ people, and people of color)

The Three Laws of Fandom

Don't Like, Don't Read - If something in a fanworks triggers/upsets you, don't engage with it
Your Kink is not my Kink - Everyone has different kinks, do not kink shame someone due to them having a kink you don't like
Ship and Let Ship - You allow people to ship what they want, as long as they are not hurting anyone with it

"Proshippers are pedophiles/predators"

This is one of the most common misconceptions made about proshippers. A reason why some antis call proshippers pedophiles is likely due to the fact that they defend minor x adult ships or NSFW content of fictional minors, and according to them, consuming that kind of content makes someone a pedophile or a MAP (minor attracted person). This is the equivalent of calling a furry a zoophile.There have been cases of proshipper sbeing outed as groomers/pedophiles and/or condoning pedophilia irl, but they do not represent the proship community and need to be pushed out. If the furry community can push zoophiles out, then the proship community can do the same with pedophiles.In addition, calling proshippers pedophiles not only waters down the term pedophile, but it makes it much harder to take cases of predators much seriously, which actually makes the community more unsafe because people aren't taking them seriously anymore. You can find these works or the people behind them to be disgusting or weird, but to call proshippers a very serious term and/or throwing those terms around like buzzwords not only harms the community, but is disrespectful towards victims of actual predators.

"All proshippers ship problematic ships"

To many antis, proship means "problematic ship", and they often use that term. They often say the term proships when referring to these kinds of ships, which is an incorrect term, the more accurate term to use would be comship or darkship. In addition, not every proshipper ships the same things. If they did, fandom would be very motonomous.

"Proshippers are racist, homophobic, etc"

This misconception likely springs up because proshippers will allow people to create what they want, which could include content that could offend people. This is likely an example of the slippery slope fallacy, because antis believe that if we let people create what they want, that means that we are enabling bigots and letting them create offensive content. it is important that we analyze content to see what's offensive and what's not.While there are some proshippers who do turn out to be bigots, like I said in the first misconception, they do not represent the proship community and deserve to be called out and pushed out of the community. When you conflate a certain community to actually bad people, it makes it much harder to find the people in that community who are doing actually bad things so you can push them out.

"Proshippers romanticize/normalize problematic stuff"

While romanticization is a problem in and of itself, many proshippers just prefer to create content of the things they like, regardless of whether it is problematic or not. In addition, Some proshippers do create fanworks as a coping mechanism and may romanticize their own trauma as a way to process it. To claim that proshippers are normalizing problematic content is also hypocritical as some antis themselves have normalized harassment of people over fictional content. Remember: Not everyone does the same thing.

"Proshippers endorse/condone the things they create in their fanworks irl"

Not true. Depiction does not equal endorsement. Just because someone writes a fanfiction about abuse does not mean they condone it irl, unless they actually state it, have done the crime themselves, or sympathize with real people who have abused others. If a proshipper condones the content in something they write irl, that's a red flag. They are not a good person and should be called out for it. (for what they condone irl, not the fanfic)Just because I am okay with people writing what they want in fiction does not mean I am okay with taboo subjects irl, people condoning it irl and/or enacting it irl. However, if someone sees a piece of fiction containing dark subject matter and wants to enact it irl, it is a sign that they could have a mental disorder, and that they should seek help. In fact, many cases in which fiction was blamed for the crime either involved someone having a mental illness or a previous criminal record.

"Proshippers think fiction doesn't affect reality"

It might be surprising, but a majority of proshippers do believe that fiction affects reality, but not on a 1 to 1 basis. When some proshippers state that fiction doesn't affect reality, they most likely mean it doesn't affect reality in the ways antis think.The media you consume does not define who you are as a person. Watching Game of Thrones does not make you incestuous or violent. Reading Lolita does not make you a pedophile. Reading or watching Harry Potter does not make you transphobic or antisemitic. Being attracted towards animal characters does not make you a zoophile. But what does define you is your actions.The only way fiction can truly affect reality in the way antis think is if the person consumes the media, has an intense reaction, and has a mental illness. One example antis bring up when it comes to fiction affecting reality is the Slenderman stabbings. The two teens who stabbed their friend were not only too young to read creepypastas, but they were unable to separate fiction from reality due to them having mental disorders.

Fiction can be a coping mechanism for those who are suffering from mental illness or abuse. This is preferred to as expressive therapy and can range from writing fanfiction to creating fanart. It can also be considered exposure therapy, as these fanfictions are exposing them to topics that may trigger them. In fact, these types of coping mechanisms are therapist approved. There are many benefits to using fiction as therapy, such as improved function and performance.Plenty of survivors who make art of their trauma get a lot of flack for what they post. For example, some artists may create art depicting a character with self harm scars to represent how they have dealt with self harm. Some people may see this art and think that the art is glamorizing, romanticizing, or normalizing self harm. And while the glamorization and romanticization of serious topics can be harmful to some artists, banning these depictions is a form of censorship. While artists should be careful around depicting or sharing such art, blaming them can hurt their self-esteem.In addition, many people give advice to survivors telling them that they should only cope in a private account. To say that people should cope in private is inherently harmful to survivors because it sends the message that. It is up to the survivor to decide how they cope. However, if they do decide to post work about their trauma in public, they should put warnings/tags as a to warn other survivors about the contents that their work contains. As long as they abide by a site's TOS, give tags and warnings properly, and they are not hurting or targeting anyone, they should be fine.If that wasn't enough, antis will sometimes tell survivors that they either deserved their trauma or that they should be retraumatized due to the way that they cope. It is okay to find these works disgusting, but to belittle these survivors because they write about them, even if they don't romanticize their trauma is disrespectful towards them. Stop using trauma as an excuse to tell people what they shouldn't write in fiction.Every survivor has a different coping mechanism and needs to be treated with respect. Even if writing fanfiction isn't the best coping mechanism, it's still a valid mechanism for those suffering from trauma and should not be taken away from them because it makes others uncomfortable.

All on Tumblr
Debunking the Fiction Affects Reality Carrd
Debunking antiproshipper's arguments
Debunking the "How Proshipping Affects People" TikTok

Harassment

Harassment is the repeated pattern of behavior intended to scare, harm, anger, or shame a targeted individual. Online harassment is the act of using the internet to harass someone via social media platforms, chatrooms, emails, or cell phone calls. In other words, it is a form of cyberbullyingMany people harass others due to feeling a sense of power, feeling like they can get away with it due to them being anonymous, or because said person made them uncomfortable.Many antis have resorted to harassing proshippers, from making callout posts of them, calling them bad people, sending death threats to them, or doing worse things to them.The consequences of harassment can be dire for some users. Victims of online harassment can experience depression, anxiety, sadness, anger, low self-esteem, and thoughts of self harm or suicide.In a survey of women that experienced online harassment and abuse across 8 countries, 60% of them suffered from low esteem or self confidence, 55% experienced stress, anxiety or panic attacks, and 41% feared for their safety, so please think before you post.If you suspect someone is harassing you, do not retaliate against the user. Instead, report and block the user. Tell a trusted adult about this, and if you suspect they are breaking the law, report them to the police.

Grooming & CSA

Grooming is the act of gaining trust with minors as a mean of performing sexual acts with them. Groomers lure minors through any means, whether it be in real life or in an online chatroom. 1 in 4 minors have been groomed in online chatrooms. It is important that you know the online signs of grooming.- Using a fake profile
- Gaining trust
- Exploiting existing relationships with the minor
- Forcing secrecy into the relationship
- Asking them to send sexual images of themselvesChildren who are groomed may be more secretive or become less likely to talk to others. It's also worth noting that it's not just strangers that can groom minors, but family members and friends can as well.Grooming goes hand to hand with child sexual assault/abuse (CSA). Warning signs of CSA include changes in mood, diet, and behavior, frequent touching of the child, bed wetting, sexually transmitted diseases, or other pain. 90% of CSA victims know their abuser, and 50%, and it's not just adults that can assault children, but other children as well. This is called child on child sexual assault/abuse (CoCSA).Antis blame fictional content for grooming. While fictional content can be used for grooming, it is not the fiction's fault that the child got groomers, but the fault of the groomer. Groomers will use anything to groom children, even content made for kids. Instead of attacking fictional content, we should focus on taking down actual groomers.Antis also believe that proshippers who are minors are being groomed into proshipping. This is a gross statement that not only disrespects actual grooming victims, but makes it much harder to protect people who are actually being groomed. Most likely, minor proshippers aren't being groomed into proshipping, they are either likely doing it as a coping mechanism or to express creativity. As stated, before, while there are some proshippers who do get outed as groomers, they do not represent the proship community and should be pushed out.

Child Sexual Exploitation Material

Child Sexual Exploitation/Abuse Material is material depicting real minors in sexual acts/positions, which is highly illegal in many countries. CSEM/CSAM is illegal because children are exploited and harmed in order for material to be made. Dstribution and possession of CSEM/CSAM can land someone a hefty punishment depending on the country they are from, and it also contributes to children being abused and exploited.Many people and some legal forms have used the term child pornography, or CP to describe these kinds of material. This term is now considered outdated due to the fact that the term pornography implies that the child can consent to these kinds of things (they can't). Due to the overuse and implications of this term, the term child sexual exploitation material or abuse material is preferred as it is more specific.According to 18 USC § 2256 in United States law, in order for something to be considered CSEM/CSAM, it has to be indistinguishable from a real minor. This means while drawings can be considered CSEM/CSAM they either have to depict a real minor, be indistinguishable from a minor, or be traced/heavily referenced from CSEM/CSAM. Even if it's not illegal, it can still be morally reprehensible and be considered obscene.It's worth noting that CSEM/CSAM laws offer from across the world. For example, in New Zealand, Australia, Canada, South Africa, South Korea, and the United Kingdom, fictional content containing minors in sexual situations is illegal, under the guise that these depictions may incite people to create CSEM/CSAM.When we say sexualizing kids is wrong, we are referring to REAL kids. When fictional kids are conflated with real kids, it makes it much harder for cases of child sexual exploitation to be reported. In 2019, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) reported that 90% of reports were unactionable. Other resources, such as the FBI and IWF have also gone through false reports. These false reports not only clog up resources, but makes it much harder to solve cases of CSE.

Fiction & Censorship

Throughout history, multiple pieces of literature and art have been banned or censored under the guise of morality or control. One such example is with Nazi Germany from 1933 to 1945. During that era, Adolf Hitler and the Nazis declared that all art that did not conform to their standards was considered degenerate art. Art of this kind often included modern art. In addition, they confiscated and destroyed these kinds of art and blacklisted artists who created them.It is not all that different today with antis demanding that other people do not show their work to others because it could trigger others. Often, antis refer to themselves as morally superior or normal because they do not make or consume any gross content. They also push these narratives around to other people in the community, including proshippers. As of now, many people are demanding that fiction be a representation of the real world, which not only destroys suspension of belief, but destroys artistic freedom.Demanding that certain fictional content shouldn't exist because children shouldn't see it is a form of censorship. Children should not be seeing this kind of things in the first place, and it's the parent's responsibility to monitor their children online and teach them which media they can consume and which ones they cannot. The media children consume can influence them into doing things they normally wouldn't.Everything has a right to exist, regardless of how fucked up it is. What matters is if the fanwork is properly tagged and warned. If said fanwork is untagged, it could be exposed to children who stumble upon it and they could be influenced by it due to them being an impressionable audience.In addition, a lot of anti rhetoric is rooted in alt-right and Radfem/TERF/SWERF rhetoric, often using terms like coomer or degenerate, words that are rooted in bigotry. In conclusion, antis have harmed and are harming fandom culture, and need to be dealt with.

False Accusations

This ties up to all of the points made above. Antis accuse proshippers of being pedophiles/groomers/predators due to them shipping a minor and an adult or being attracted to a minor character. Antis also accuse artists of drawing CSEM for drawing NSFW art of underage characters because according to them, sexualizing all minors is wrong.In addition, antis make call out posts on proshippers due to the content they produce. Calling out someone for making fictional content is a dick move and distracts from actually bad people. Callout posts should only be reserved for people who have actually done bad things. In the case of fiction, this only applies if the fiction has actually harmed/targeted people. Often, this is the result of people not being able to separate fiction from reality.One example of a false accusation is with YouTuber Mushroom Girl. After releasing her video on proshipping, many people have criticized her or bashed her, with one YouTuber in particular, Weasel&Rodent, criticizing and harassing her. Many videos have been made of her, calling her a freak, calling her pro CSEM, or saying that her words are dangerous. Sinfullucy made a comment on her falsely accusing her of being a groomer, even though she was a minor (minors can technically groom other minors, but it's rare). Mushroom Girl later made a response to this. As she stated in her video, "these are life ruining accusations".What antis don't realize is that these accusations are serious and life ruining. No one should be called a predator over fiction, as it is a serious thing to call someone. By throwing these terms around or treating them like buzzwords, antis are not only watering down the terms, but letting actual predators get away with their crimes. It doesn't help that many antis who are against certain fictional content because it's "icky" end up being outed as groomers/predators/enablers.False accusations ruin people's lives and need to be called out for.

What can I do?

Educate yourself - You should educate yourself on serious issues, as well as learn how to separate fiction from reality. Before you consume or create a piece of fiction, think about the content of the work, the creator, and the context of the work. In addition, there are multiple videos discussing serious issues in fandom as well as the morality and censorship of such fanworks.Do your research - Do some research on the internet or read a book about the benefits of fiction of how we should deal with serious issues when stuff like these do occur. There are lots of resources to help you form your research, and luckily for you I do have plenty of resources listed in one of my pages of this Carrd.Inform others - Tell a loved one, a mutual, or someone else the dangers of the internet, they we can deal with it, and how they can deal with it. You can also tell others about who proshippers really are if they are interested.Report and block antis - If someone is harassing you or another, report them for harassment or block them. Do not rat them out, you are only giving them attention and they may get angry at you. This also goes for rage bait posts.Curate your online experience - This is similar to the point above. Curating your online experience includes filtering tags, blocking users, and focusing on the things you like. However, you should try broadening your horizons and explore nuanced topics once in a while.Listen to victims/survivors - Listening to survivors of abuse or trauma can open your perspective of multiple things. You may be surprised on their thoughts of depictions of abuse in fiction or the trauma their abusers gave them. Every survivor has their own individual story.Protect children - There are multiple ways to protect children, from teaching them internet safety, to reporting predators, to teaching them what is right and what is wrong, to calling hotlines if they are being abused.Build your reading comprehension skills - You may not want to hear this, but media literacy matters. We are currently in a media literacy crisis where both older and younger people have decreased reading comprehension skills to the point where people are expecting that fiction affects real life, which in turn, leads to censorship. Why not build up on reading comprehension skills by looking up some videos on the internet on how to do so or search up some exercises on how to build them. They say knowledge is power, so build up that power by learning comprehension skills.